Dear Tim Curley and Jon Perry,

I would like to first thank you for screwing yet another sports team out of a legitimate chance at a national championship. Had we scheduled anyone with a pulse in football, we would have remained competitive in the championship hunt even with a loss in the final seconds to Iowa. Instead, we reward contracts to teams with directions in their names and Temple, which in my opinion should have a direction in it’s name as well in return for home games and easy money.

Then once again, this past Sunday we were probably laughed out of the tounament by the Selection Committee, when they realized 331 was not the number of fans that typically shows up for our non-conference tilts, but our non-conference Strength of Schedule. While I understand we are doing St. Vincent’s School for the retarded a favor by scheduling them, can’t the team try volunteer work instead?

In the initial moments of my rage of being snubbed by the Selection Committee this past Sunday, I have stumbled upon the listings you have posted on Basketball Traveler’s Inc. for what can only be described as a quality opponent.

“Penn State University-Mens
Type: Game
Dates: 11/13/2009 to 11/13/2009

Looking for a guarantee game on Friday, November 13, 2009 at Penn State. If interested please contact me. Competitive money and rooms.
Contact: Jon Perry, 8148655494
jdp14@psu.edu
Date Posted: 02/22/2009
Last Updated: 02/22/2009“

After I had contained my laughter and realized that this post was actually serious, I decided to take matters into my own hands and forwarded a similar post on Craigslist which reads:

“To please play Penn State in basketball in 2010 (State College, PA)

---

Reply to: your anonymous craigslist address will appear here
Date: 2009-03-17, 3:21PM PDT

My favorite Alma Mater, Penn State has been desperately searching for a quality opponent to play in the coming years. As many of you have seen this past Selection Sunday, a non-conference SOS of 331 is simply not strong enough. So basically, the deaf and blind schools we have been racking wins on have got to go. So if you are of any influence at a quality basketball school (basically any other school without a direction in your name), please convince your AD or scheduling guru to contact Jon Perry, 8148655494 or at jdp14@psu.edu. Maybe they simply haven’t been looking hard enough, a simply push might just do it. Thanks for your time.

• Location: State College, PA”

I mean, any team that would be on Basketball Traveler’s Inc responding to your offer, must be deseperate enough to search Craigslist for potential matchups as well. Like any love interest you would find on Craigslist, a paper bag will probably be required for the desperation and ugliness of any team we would eventually find on Basketball Traveler’s Inc.

I have always been taught in school to sandwitch a complaint between positive remarks so here goes. We as fans were always well aware of the money driven mindset of our favorite athletics program, but Selection Sunday exposed it to the rest of the nation. There is absolutely no reason to play schools whose mascots no one can name off the top of their heads other than a free garanteed payout. So once again, I thank you and the rest of the department of screwing any opportunity this year’s basketball and football squads have of competing at the highest level. I’m sure all that money you made not doing your job right will be reinvested in Penn State education.

[Ed. Note] Yeah, I couldn’t stop laughing at that last sentence as well.

PS: Want to let the scheduling guru in on what you think of his scheduling efforts so far?

Name: Jon Perry

Phone number: 814-865-5494

Email: jdp14@psu.edu

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