Terrell Owens Foot in Mouth Trophy Week 1
It’s the offseason, and we’re all starved for college football, but it doesn’t mean we can’t have fun with all the offseason drama going on.
So may I introduce the inaugural Terrell Owens Foot In Mouth Trophy that will be presented at offseason’s end to the biggest drama queen of the collegiate world.
And to start it all off, we have…
1 |
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Joe Paterno
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| Culprits: Foot in mouth disease, Potgate | ||
| Joe brought up the expansion idea once again and had the college world abuzzin. Despite everyone and their mother commenting on the issue Joe discussed nilly willy, he still believes there is a hidden plot to ignore him.So what’s the name of that condition where you think people are constantly plotting against you and snickering behind your back? Paranoia?
“you will very often see patients with a first onset of paranoia or other psychotic symptoms after a chronic use of cannabis” It’s no wonder Joe has been taking a wait and see approach with Potgate. |
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2 |
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Lane Kiffin |
| Culprit: Daniel Hood | ||
| When he’s not wrongly accusing fellow coaches of recruiting infractions, or threatening those very recruits with a future of pumping gas, he is out playing Big Brother to convicted ex-rapists. Not, that there’s anything wrong with that, kids do stupid things. I mean, I stole a pack of gum when I was 14 from a gas station, that’s comparable right? Oh wait. No it’s not. | ||
3 |
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Mike Leach |
| Culprits: Mike Leach, Michael Crabtree, Graham Harrell | ||
| Forget that Crabtree could really be a diva, or that Harrell was just simply a great quarterback in the Texas Tech system but mediocre anywhere else. Instead of making inroads with the NFL coaching fraternity, Leach believes he is best serving his players and their futures by burning bridges.
Mike Leach never ceases to entertain when placed in front of a microphone. Leach is my prohibitive favorite to take the inaugural TOFIM trophy.
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4 |
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Big 12 |
| Culprits: Retarded Tie-breaking system | ||
| So what do you get when Texas beats Oklahoma, Oklahoma beats Texas Tech, and Texas Tech beats Texas?
A Texas sized hoedown of epic proportions.
So what did the Big 12 do about last year’s ridiculous situation to ensure it never happens again? Absolutely nothing. Now if only they could first do something about that education problem first. |
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5 |
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Notre Dame |
| Culprit: ESPN | ||
 What have the Irish accomplished in recent memory to warrant an entire week dedicated to the Blue and Gold on ESPN?
Wait, what did WE do to deserve this week long punishment? Want to really spice things up? How’s this programming lineup for Irish Week?
Jeez, as if NBC shoving the mediocre Irish in our faces during the regular season wasn’t enough, we have to deal with them during the off season too? |
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This series will run every Friday until the last week of August. Got a hot story, picture, link or video you’d like to share feel free to do so anonymously in the comments, or email us at nittanywhiteout@gmail.com.
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